One month and one day down. It hasn't been easy, but it hasn't been as hard as I thought it'd be. Do I miss my Dad? Of course! I'm not some heartless individual. I do break down here and there. I believe you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
Yes, I could have fallen into a state of depression. I could have turned my back on God for not healing my Dad. I decided to do the opposite. This whole situation has made me stronger. It's made me realize the importance of appreciating loved ones and it's drawn me closer to God.
I'll admit that I was mad at God for about a week, but I just couldn't stay mad. I hate feeling far away from God. It's the worst feeling in the world. Even worse than the pain of losing my Dad. I that my Dad would've wanted me to pick myself up and move forward. So that's what I'll do.
By no means am I saying that it is bad to grieve. It is completely normal. We're humans for crying out loud, not robots. We have emotions an we feel sadness. We just can't continue to let that sadness rule us. At some point we must leave our emotions at the foot of the cross and continue our journey. That's where I'm at right now. I know that God will use this situation to help me relate to others who have lost parents. I'll be able to minister to those who are hurting.
I'm so eager to see what each day has in store. I know God still has so much planned for my life. I know that my Dad is basking in God's glory as I type this post. That gives me comfort! I am going to continue this series, but it'll more than likely be monthly posts instead of weekly :)