Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Three Lessons in Three Years


Perfect time to share on this topic since our wedding anniversary is tomorrow. Eeek! Marriage is the sweetest, it really is. Our love has flourished so much in the past 3 years. We've had ups, we've had downs. We've both made mistakes, but, we have learned from those mistakes. And, believe it or not, we've had our share of arguments. That's right, we argue at times. Just like every other married couple. But, I know the hard times have only made our bond stronger. Was the first year as hard as they say? Heck yes. There were times that we fought like crazy, but only because we had a lot of learning to do. Once the wedding bells faded and the reality of this new commitment kicked in, it was difficult at times. I'm not going to sit back and paint a pretty picture for you. Marriage is hard. Even the Bible tells us that. I had to learn to be patient, to be respectful and to develop a sacramental kind of love like Christ shows us. People think that love is all about emotion. That is a negative. Sadly, I believe that is exactly why many marriages end up in such disarray.

In the past 3 years, God has taught me:

1. To love, without condition.
You aren't always going to agree with your spouse. Sometimes they'll make you mad, offend you, or hurt you. Most of which is unintentional. You know what you have to do? Love them. Love them past the anger, past the offence, past the hurt. Give it to God. Choose to show grace, to give the benefit of the doubt, and to let things go. Do not hang onto things. If you decide to do so, it will only cause bitterness and resentment to make residence in your heart. Once you reach that point, it's hard to make a come back. Love and forgiveness go hand in hand.

"And beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity." - Colossians 3:14

2. To communicate.
Let your spouse know how you feel. Pretty sure you didn't marry a mind reader! And no, they won't just know. "Well, if he loved me he would know". Sorry, ladies. That's a bunch of bull hockey. He'll only know what you let him know. But don't be disrespectful, don't raise your voice, don't point the finger and lay blame. Simply sit them down, state your case(s) and hash it out like mature adults. A lack of communication can be a very, very dangerous thing. It can lead to misunderstandings, assumptions and someone will more than likely end up hurt.

"Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid."

3. To trust.
This has been my biggest struggle. Our first year of marriage was tainted by my distrusting heart. Past relationships left me marred in this area. I still had to break down the walls I had built up before meeting my husband. It took many tear-filled nights, heart to hearts and time in God's presence to get me to the point I'm at today. And I still have my moments! It isn't always easy peasy, but it gets easier with time. I know my husband loves me and I know he would never do anything to hurt me intentionally. I wasn't accustomed to that. It took me too long to let go!

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." - 1 John 4:18

So, peeps. There it is. Here's to the years to come and the lessons I've yet to learn!

2 comments:

  1. Those are some really great lessons, thanks for sharing. Congrats on your almost 3 year anniversary - that's awesome!

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  2. Happy anniversary! Ahh, what a great blessing!! Enjoy your day tomorrow. It's awesome that you've reflected back on your journey and pulled out those awesome lessons.

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