As some of you may have seen on Twitter, I recently found out that Target decided to keep me. I am now an "official" team member. Honestly, I'm not sure how long I'll stay. Retail isn't really my cup of tea, but hey, it's a job. So, I'm simply taking it day by day until something better comes along (I'm really praying that God opens up a nice position at a photography studio). I just need to be in a place where my creativity can thrive and flourish.
Now, onto my story. Yesterday was one of the hardest days thus far. It started out like any other shift. About two hours had passed since I clocked in that morning. I heard a call on the walkie asking for backup cashiers. That's really the only part of the job I dislike (besides the mundane work). I cringed, as usual, but decided to go help out anyway.
It's not the scanning or bagging, or even dealing with the
costumers guests. It's having to deal with cash speedily that freaks me out. Stick me in a quiet corner with a stack of bills or a pile of coins and I'm completely fine. But, add in the noisy commotion of a busy storefront while the guests glare at my every move and my brain gets a bit scattered.
I was two guests deep on lane 8 when she decided to join the line. I could already tell she was a bit uptight. Tired eyes, tightly pursed lips, arms folded. As she approached the register, I quickly rang up and bagged her two bottles of anti-aging cream. Hitting "total", I noticed the green bill out of the corner of my eye. $41.51 flashed on the screen as I reached for the Benjamin Franklin in her hand. Great, I thought, typing in the amount and hitting enter.
$58.49, the register drawer pops open. Instantaneously my fingers fumble over the bills and coins. All these numbers floating around my mind. I could feel her eyes searing into my hands and for some odd reason, I started to second guess my calculations. Fearing I had given her $10 too much, I placed a $10 bill back into the drawer. I handed her the money and as she counted, I instantly realized my mistake. The $10 should have stayed.
She looked up at me and snapped "this isn't right!", at which point I apologized and called my coworker over. I wasn't sure how to reopen the register after it had been closed. When it opened, I grabbed the missing $10 and gave it to her. Apologizing again, I tried to make light of the situation. I told her I had always been a bit bad at math, though my coworker assured me I was doing fine. The woman was shaking her head in disapproval. Then she hissed "sweetie, that has nothing to do with math, that's knowing how to count money" and stormed off with an attitude.
At that moment, I could feel the heat rush into my cheeks and tears started to well up in my eyes. It was such a tiny insensitive statement, but the words cut deep. I turned my light off and finished ringing up the person that was behind her. I was done. I walked to the back, head hung so no one could see the tears that managed to escape. I cried for a few moments, prayed and then pulled myself together. And, after thinking about her comment, I was aware of just how stupid she sounded herself. I mean, the last time I checked, math involves counting.
So, yeah. I didn't share this story to throw a pity party for myself. I've realized that I shouldn't allow what other people say or think affect me like that again. I just wrote about it so I can look back and laugh at the situation later on :)