Ever have those days when you feel like mentally checking out? I've been dealing with those feelings on and off for weeks now. Let's take Wednesday, for example. I woke up after sleeping in a bit, got a cup of coffee, enjoyed some instrumental music that my mom had playing and jumped into my design work — all things that would have made me happy on any other day. But, come 2:00, my brain started to have a meltdown of sorts. Anxiety crept in and I quickly fell into a funk for the remainder of the afternoon. I couldn't just sit around the house though. I had this overwhelming urge to get out, get away and clear all of the thoughts that had been racing through my mind.
So, I grabbed my keys and dashed out the door, my head in a fog. With no set destination in mind, I pulled out of the driveway and cranked up the Christian music station. Almost instantly, I started feeling more at peace. A peace that washed away every last bit of the worry and heaviness that I had been struggling through only moments before. The fear that had invaded my my mind fled. I prayed, I cried, I felt days and days of built up stress melting away — in His presence. And, clearly, that's what I'd been missing all along. His presence.
I've been trying so hard to battle this season of transition on my own, but I can't. I can' expect to get through this time in my life without leaning on God every step of the way. It just doesn't work that way. I need His strength, His wisdom and His peace to get me through these rough patches that I've been running into. I saw this quote (and even shared it) on Facebook Wednesday morning, before the waves of worry struck the shoreline of my mind and boy, did it hit the nail on the head. I should have got the message right then and there, but obviously I didn't allow it to sink in deep enough.
"If you find yourself a bit irritated or overwhelmed, it's a sign
that you're spending less time with God & more time with this world."
Woah. Can someone say convicted? It was right there in front of me the entire time. I can be extremely hardheaded at times and honestly, I should know by now that the only way to get through daily trials is to stay connected to God. But I struggle with getting distracted easily and most days, I don't spend time in prayer or in the Word. Now that I know exactly why I've been feeling down and out and I know what the root of the problem is, I can fix it and I will fix it. Not to say that I won't ever have another down day, but I'm hoping to have better days from here on out.
Funny thing, I ended up at Starbucks after I had driven down the street a bit. So, naturally, I got a cinnamon dolce latte, made my way to the craft store and then swung by Publix for some sushi. I spent the rest of the evening watching Lifetime movies with my mama via Netflix and studied scriptures before I went to sleep.