Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Five Things I Miss About My Dad

❝A great man is one who leaves others at a loss after he is gone.❞
― Paul Valery

Well, it's been a long time since I've opened up and let those feelings of sadness bubble to the surface of my heart. I used to be the type to hide painful memories deep down like a treasure chest. I'd throw away the key + burn the maps in hopes of never having to revisit them again. However, I've since learned that it's much more beneficial to release the grief from time to time. It's alright to be emotional sometimes. It's okay to break down when I think of everything my dad has missed and will miss. It's normal to miss him and wish he was still here.

I had this long, somewhat melancholy post typed up and ready to share yesterday morning. After mulling over my options of pressing publish or keeping that entry to myself, I chose the latter. Instead of focusing on the sorrow that will forever be tethered to June 13th, I want to redirect my thoughts + emotions to reflect a sense of celebration. I want to honor my dad by rejoicing in the years he lived, the life he led, and the memories we shared. I sure do miss him, but I've found peace in knowing it's more of a see you later rather than a good-bye.

It's hard to believe that yesterday marked five years since he passed away. Sometimes it feels like it hasn't even been that long, while other times it seems as though it's been so much longer. There are so many things that I miss, things I never thought I'd be so adamant about trying to remember forever. I thought it would be nice to document five things I find myself missing most often (five things for the five years he's been away).

01. I miss his big ol' bear hugs. My dad always had a way with hugs, let me tell ya. It was like no matter what I was dealing with at the moment, being wrapped up in his arms made me feel calm + safe. It's was my refuge.

02. I miss hearing him say "you've really outdone yourself this time, girl" whenever I'd try out a new recipe that he enjoyed. My hubby has said it a handful of times in hopes of keeping the memory alive. It makes me smile.

03. I miss his crazy contagious laughter. Even thinking about it now makes me chuckle to myself. You see, it wasn't just one of those normal laughs. No, no, it was one of those bust-a-gut, tears-rolling-down-your-cheeks, accidentally-passing-gas, bellowing-through-the-house kind of laughs. It was special, that's for sure.

04. I miss hearing him tell his stories. Although I've probably heard them all a hundred times before, I'd give anything to hear some of his wild anecdotes again. Be it from his time in the Navy, his days of being a tugboat captain or all the years he spent working in the port, he always had the most interesting tales to share.

05. I miss that sheepish grin he would get on his face right before he'd try to sneak sweets from the pantry. I can't remember a time before my mama started telling him that he should lay off the sweeties. Ha!

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